Saturday 5 January 2013

Saturday Jaunt, Eats and Thoughts

 Feeling like I need a bit of structure today, so the format of this post will probably reflect that....sorry if it's a bit wooden.

Today I wore: 

 A shapeless dress with a cat print, though the latter is not very clear in this photo. I seem to have a thing for large shapeless dresses!

I went:


for a little walk with the bf. Can you believe that there are little 'countryside' walks like this in London (well, the outskirts of north London, but it's still London!) My ankle/calf is causing me a fair bit of pain at the moment, and so I am having to refrain from running, which is extremely annoying, but it was lovely to get out and go for a walk. Definitely one of my favourite weekend activities- walking and waffling with the bf. It feels weird calling him the bf, so I will now refer to him as S!

I also had a cheeky Costa. I told myself that I'm allowed one a month, as they are pretty expensive (£2.45 for a small latte) and I'm trying to cut back on my spending a bit this month. Despite this, I didn't regret it! I got a skinny gingerbread latte (1 shot please) as a little 'treat'.

I ate: 

Breakfast: Porridge with unsweetened almond milk in my little Ikea bowl. 

I tried to make quinoa porridge, but I think I must have burnt it or something because it tasted awful! Maybe I'll try again in the future. 

Lunch: Soup/soda bread/salad

 I added some 'Good 4 U' lentil and bean shoots, which I purchased on a whim as it cost the neat and tidy sum of £1. Such as sucker. 


 It was ok. I imagine it'd add a nice bit of crunch to a wrap/filling.

We had lunch quite late, at about 3.30pm. By this time S was feeling pretty weak, but I was feeling fine...which leads me on to my next 'section'.

I thought:
So having a late lunch sparked some alarm bells in my head. As I wasn't feeling hungry, part of me thought 'why bother with lunch, I feel fine', but I know that that is a dangerous slope, that I'd want to restrict more and more. Or even if I didn't restrict, it's that MINDSET that I don't want to enter back into. Luckily I managed to eat lunch (I had some melon for dessert too) and will eat dinner too, but it's that little niggle along with a fear of getting fat. I'm trying to maintain my positive mindset/actions and I'm sure that the niggle will pass (especially once I return to work and I have more pressing things to manage), but I need to be careful. Yesterday I felt I ate too much, so I guess that's why I'm experiencing this mental backlash today.

I also weighed myself for the first time since before Christmas. I think I put on 0.2kg, which is fine. I don't want to get into the habit of weighing myself again.

Sorry for the negativity there (if anyone is reading!) but I wanted to get that out, acknowledge it and try to get back to my positive thinking.

I'm going to have a bath and finish my book (Hermann Hesse's 'Siddhartha') and then have a nice cup of Earl Grey. I sound so old, but this nearly always helps when I'm feeling wobbly (in all ways!)

Tonight's dinner will probably be a sweet potato with a nut butter and kale or something similar. I also purchased some muller light yoghurts, which are FULL of additives, very bad, I know, but I like to freeze them and eat them after dinner. Another 'bad' habit, but one I will permit for this month. It could be worse as far as bad habits go...

Hope your Saturdays are going well  :)

8 comments:

  1. Objectively, I hope that deep down you know what you ate yesterday was not a lot of food...not even for a completely sedentary person, let alone someone as active as you. I know I eat more than a teenage male bodybuilder but even compared to more normal/light eaters, you really don't eat much at all, honestly! You're also super-tiny even in a (gorgeous) baggy dress, but I know other people's perceptions are about as much use as a rubber hammer when it comes to altering how we feel about ourselves.

    I'd guess that your body has become accustomed to functioning without or with very little food, whereas 'S' is used to eating more regularly - I am sure your metabolism would catch up even if you did eat more. But rationally I'd imagine you know that already - it's more a case of fighting the irrational thoughts, and I know that's very difficult.

    *hugs*

    xxx

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    1. I guess my (oh-so-rational) mind makes me think that I need less food than other people, partly because I'm short (5ft) and partly because I think my body is accustomed to a small amount of food and will balloon if I go over that. I'm hoping that my metabolism will catch up when I do eat more...I've definitely eaten more today and knocked some common sense into my head. There are more important things in life than food and weight, and it's important to remember that. For me, the thing that is more important has always been work of any kind- A-Levels, uni work and now teaching.

      Thanks so much for your support.

      Georgia Xx

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  2. Hello! I used to think that if I wasn't hungry, why eat? Now I know it's important to eat every few hours because otherwise my blood sugar drops, I get cranky, no one wants to be around me (really, my family avoids me :)) and I tend to eat more than I should later.
    Love your dress (especially the cat prints)!!

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    Replies
    1. Hi :) The moodiness is definitely a good reason to eat regularly! When I was a lower weight I was more defensive and, well, darn right rude to people sometimes.

      Thanks for your message Xx

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  3. Hey there! I am glad you are back!
    I used to have weight ups and downs when I was 22 yrs old. I was anorexic but managed to balance my life and come down to my normal weight!
    Try more healthy food, it does help!
    xo
    Anastasia

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    Replies
    1. Hello, good to 'see' you around again :)
      Balance and moderation are the things I am seeking this year, in all aspects of my life (well, who isn't?!) I have been eating more healthy food and knocked some common sense into my head (for now). I'm glad you managed to find/keep working on finding a balance.

      Thanks for your message.

      Georgia Xx

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  4. I love comfy loose dresses. Yours is adorable. It does look like a lovely area for a walk! Enjoy your day!

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  5. I used to live in London (Lewisham way) and we used to go for family walks to Lullingstone Park, on the way to Kent... I've got such lovely memories of it and like you say, it's so nice places like that are accessible from London :-)
    I'm no expert but it sounds to me it's not negative to mention those things; wouldn't it be worse if you weren't acknowledging them? The fact you say it means you're aware so shouldn't slip back that way... sorry if that makes no sense!

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